etc. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. Mr. Money Mustache Divorce Blog Post - Early Retirement Like Mike said above, all the coulda, shoulda, woulda talk and thoughts will do little more than continue to rehash what has already happened and, unfortunately, will no effect on the past, but it will most certainly delay you from moving forward. Best of luck to you. And burn yearson reliving the past, with a mixture of regret and vengeful self-righteousness and self-pity. Focus on what keeps you happy. Glad you found it! Keep on keepin on. Im not sure that the initiator of the divorce necessarily has it easier in regards to planning it out. 3.5 years in, Im still a work in progress but know that Im okay and can enjoy life, and experience joy. She spent that 6 months selling off many of the assets and giving big gifts to their children. Everyone looks at the divorce rate, but nobody looks at the happily married rate when talking about marriages. No marriage is ever easy, its why they say in good times, and in bad Twopupsonacouch . In my experience and from discussions with others (women mostly so its a fairly skewed premise) the initiator has just already worked through the realisation and subsequent grief of the relationships end. Mr. Money Mustache Divorce: Should Happiness Be the Goal? You need to proactively nurture a close, loving relationshipbeforethings get too dire, and never take it for granted. Very sorry to hear, but love your attitude about it. Addendum #4: Renters for Life If my post above rubbed your fur the wrong way, this . I was rooting for you two. Speaking as a 21-year divorcee, life gets better and better as time goes on. The Economics of Divorce - Mr. Money Mustache I am going for the Fearless Maximum approach. I wanted people to get inspired by my situation. You and the ex-Mrs have generously helped all of us with this blog and changed many lives for the better. Hope to read more posts like this in the future! Divorce - The cost of living is a little higher when you're single. Mr. Money Mustache was a thirtysomething retiree who now writes about how we can all lead a frugal yet Badass life of leisure at. Reasons Why Mr. Money Mustache Got A Divorce - Financial Samurai Twitter His entertaining and informative articles, which can be found at mrmoneymustache.com, give you the "punch in the face" you need to get you on the right track to financial independence. Been single now for a loooong time. Your statement that even the harshest moments come with a little golden key taped secretly onto their side rings true. I appreciate your stress on the financial aspect as I recently went through a divorce, and my divorce was too expensive. last updated October 09, 2018. I can totally understand what you went through. Although I chose to buy a house, nobody had to compromise on quality of life or sell the expensive family house. Mr. Money Mustache - Early Retirement Made Easy - Apple And I find it to be important to pay attention to what peoples actions say, and how they can affect you, and how those actions affect relationships. Youth Business Alliance-youth training program for businesses MMM, man I grieve with you at the ending of your marriage. You need your objective reminders to stay sane. As for the blogger that distastefully tried to capitalize on this rumor by writing a lengthy post using your name and this subject as its posting name, I have unfollowed the blog ever since and I will not read it again unless a proper apology and other follow up damage controls are properly issued. I also mention Facebook because some of my more active meetup groups are also there. When he got back she waited to see if the affair would continue then had him served divorce papers while he was in bed with the neighbor. Oh, and if anyone is thinking of driving for Uber or Lyftt, make sure you have a good tip box. Mr. Leung, who invested through the Great Recession, added: "There was a lot more reason to be scared in 2008. I wish you both happiness in the coming years. It is truly one of the worst things that can happen, most people dont understand unless theyve been through it, which can be very isolating. Anonymous It is proof that the core tenets of Mustachianism really are universal, and truly lead to greater lifetime happiness. Both of us can remain retired and continue to live in mortgage-free houses with investments easily covering our living expenses, while sharing child raising expenses. For what its worth to you and this community, I went through this and now, 9 years later, I have nothing but gratitude for my former partner and mother of our teenaged son (he was 4 at the time). I have been a fan of MMM for years, I see you found his site just two days ago I really recommend reading all of his posts from the beginning of time He has a real good handle on what otta be important. Your story sounds similar to mine. Your formula seems a little simplistic. Woah! So I have already placed a number of holds on the 5 Languages of Love, which looks to be quite the franchise. I wrote that down and changed my perspective of the situation. January 2, 2019, 8:36 am, Your story made me think about my situation and motivated me to let my spouse how much I appreciate what she does every day. It normally shuts them up when they get a note from their press complaints commission. Ive noticed myself spitting venom with my heart being in the right place (ie. You really need a cheap car for it to make sense. 3) Survival, Survival, and Survival! If you have any additional tips for me I would be most grateful. No wonder relationships are so difficult! Chapeau. That cant be easy to do with some people being what they are. [1] Adeney retired from his job as a software engineer in 2005 at age 30 by spending only a small percentage of his annual salary and consistently investing the remainder, primarily in stock market index funds. Its a shame he never wrote a follow-up piece on his post-marriage thoughts (she pre-deceased him by 3yrs), Katie Camel And heed the wise words of my own relationship and coparenting counselor, who noted that the first months after any divorce are the times of greatest conflict. You two show so much maturity in handling this, I can only hope I grow up to be someone like that. Stay true to you and sending all my love to you, your wife and your son. So aim to survive. Still, having been through it, I wouldnotrecommend divorce as a decision to be taken lightly. Mine was too as we explicitly stated from there our primary concern had to be the kids. Inspired by the sage teachings of Mr. Money Mustache, these calculators are designed to help you better plan for financial independence. What year did Mr money Mustache retire? Divorce is flat out trauma. Spark-youth 10-week career mentorship program I will look into the Love Languages book, thanks for the recommendation. Mr. Money Mustache is the website and pseudonym of 48-year-old [2] Canadian-born blogger Peter Adeney. It doesnt cost much, gets you out into nature, and introduces you to others with similar interests. Consider animal shelters, park/rec groups, etc- very people-interactive. Hope your son is doing well and my best wishes for you all in 2019. Be resilient. Seriously. Rural Retreat times. Mr. Money Mustache Divorce Blog Post - Early Retirement :-D. Our biology is against us when it comes to long, monogamous relationships. My ex husband then started his turbulent time of realising the marriage was over and the window to work on it had closed. We still celebrate family events together (Christmas, graduations, etc.). Or let me impart some wisdom, that shit can get old, Owl the Kitty But we can. Best wishes to you MMM. I dont think its over simplified at all. It was still extremely painful but she definitely played it to her advantage. Mr. Money Mustache - Wikipedia Re: Financial Volunteering (to stay busy/if lonely/need to give back/healing). Our financial planner had me working until age 68 (2022) I ran the numbers again with the tools and common sense you provided. Divorce is tough. I hope you keep sharing your experiences. Marriage is a partnership and it takes 2 people. When I heard the news, I thought to myself, "how could this happen?" How could a couple split up when on paper, everything seemed so perfect? Life throws some curveballs alright and although Ive been fortunate in the marriage space, being married for 29 years, Ive definitely had a few beanballs thrown my way in other areas. All the best to anyone else going through this scenario, especially with kids. Consider volunteering your time in/with/for a group that either supports your goals or has people similar to you. So not much awkwardness. Too many couples marry on passion and spur of the moment decisions. December 31, 2018, 5:44 pm. *whispers: I find MMM kind of annoying despite his liberal dose of financial advice that rings true to me*. It was after we started with Gatsby toward the house that the gardener saw Wilson's. body a little way off in the grass, and the holocaust was complete. It sure has changed my life for the better. 2) Money and fame. While the first year was very difficult, as you mention. Thank you for sharing this. Im glad to hear it is going well for you now, MMM, and I am glad youre staying positive. Very impressed by your broad viewpoints and wisdom even through tough times like these. Its definitely hard sometimes, but nurturing a relationship is important. In reality life (and marriage) is a complex and changing process which includes kids as well as getting old and weaker. So lean on friends, talk to a relationship counselor even if it is just by yourself (yes, its really worth it! We share plenty of time with our son and he is doing amazingly well because we are choosing to make this new life about growth rather than conflict. A Visit With Mr. Money Mustache | Kiplinger Addendum #2: Podcast Why your house is a terrible investment with Radical Personal Finance Video Why your house is a terrible investment with Mike & Lauren YouTube. People in crisis situations who survive are those that take very little risks and focus on surviving at all cost (no frills, just survival). . Reconciling life after divorce is a tricky operation, be it financial, emotional, spiritual, interpersonal, etc. Skip-the-Hyperbole C.S. MMM has an entry on that. December 31, 2018, 5:47 pm, Ironic that you posted this today I was divorced five years ago on 12 31 2013. Sorry to hear! December 31, 2018, 5:58 pm. In the Comments: I have found it so helpful over this past year to share with others and realize that I am not alone in this. As for these other people commenting well they can go kick rocks. He actually spends a lot more money each year than he tells everyone, but in order to keep up with his image and cult of followers, he continues to say they live on little. If one kid was acting sassy or sullen all of a sudden, I collaborated with my ex. Dear MMM, sorry to hear what a year its been and I admire the grace with which you and your family have made the best of one of lifes curveballs. Cheers MoneyMan you continue to serve us with the truth as you know and youre a VERY generous man! Is it a panacea? As one friend puts it, Being a divorced coparent is like being the co-owner of a business. Mr. Money Mustache (MMM) Divorce: How To Protect A Marriage Mr. Money Mustache - Facebook I survived and later thrived out of divorce (it was a process, 10 years). I have a few questions: 1) Is there anything you and the mrs could have done different that could have prevented this? I can tell you from experience that even under the best of circumstances a divorce is emotionally very difficult. Read about how to stay married early and often. Outside of work I spend about 4 hours a week without her. My very amicable divorce became final just two days ago, and i find it normalizing and validating to read your experience. All the best! I had the right approach (as in not go through an expensive divorce) but my reasons for doing the right thing was because I enjoyed the pain of doing the right thing. MMM, It takes a lot of courage to share this information with the public. Its an unhealthy mindset but I was young and stupid. Please do take the best possible care of yourself. Mr. Money Mustache talks about his divorce mrmoneymustache 15 11 11 comments Best Add a Comment glassgost 4 yr. ago I was kinda hoping he'd mention if his frugality was a factor or not. It is not something that any wives like to see. Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. If youre still married and there is even achancethat you want it to last, you might consider the following steps. Your post will be valuable to many and hopefully save a many relationships. Maybe she got tired of Mustachianism. I love this stuff and could talk about how rewarding it is to give back and encourage others to pursue their dreams and practice the financial basics. 3 Things that Make Mr. Money Mustache Want to Punch Me in the Face - Medium 4. Another inspirational and honest piece of writing. Mr. Money Mustache During this stressful time, I heard of similar stories from others who were also locked in a high-cost battle. Mr. Money Mustache Wishing you all the best for a fresh start in 2019. Complaints and insults generally wont make the cut here, but by all means write them on your own blog! Need to keep spreading the genes around to ensure survival of the species and our neuro chemistry promotes this. I wish (the former) Mrs. Money Mustache well! Thank you for sharing such a personal and inspirational story. If youve ever been in an unhappy marriage it is every bit this simple. Because many bits of damage you do to a relationship arepermanent. Definitely. Thinking of you all, and wishing you all the best. Also, a contentious divorce could deplete your savings significantly. It can be tough. They All Retired Before They Hit 40. Then This Happened. Mr. Smith represents a threat / battle / death to society. Yes! October 7, 2019, 5:38 pm. Hope 2019 works out well for all of you. Most profoundly (I think) is his point that while you should of course continue to love your spouse, its not reasonable to expect to feel in love with someone for your whole life. With his divorce though, I imagine that he's currently sitting around 3MM or so. And when this happens, not even the greatest advantages of a lifetime money surplus or a supportive network of great friends and family or living in a beautiful place can save you. Mr. MM, Thank you. House hacking might be an option. Seek professional counseling when necessary, find support in your family and friends, and have faith that the pain is only temporary and you will find wholeness again. And thank you for such a great blog! Besides House Hacking, if you have a car, you might want to try out being an Uber or Lyft driver. In March of 2017, I listened to you on the Tim Ferriss podcast and then devoured your entire backlist. Just Stop Spending Seth Just some food for thought. Both were and are heart-wrenching, but the golden key has been the awareness of how precious our time together is, and a renewed commitment to cherishing each other. When they purchased the house it was bland and boring with builder's grade finishes, but Mustache gave the open floor plan lots of personality with pops of bright color, clean-lined furnishings and modern amenities. Looking forward to see you leading by example that divorce doesnt mean financial ruin and damaged relationships. So if you havent already heard through the rumor mill, the former Mrs. Money Mustache and I are no longer married. I have been married for almost twelve years now, and we have never fought I learned and taught my spouse how to solve differences with love, respect and flexibility. Although we had been drifting this way for a while, the formal change of our status is still less than a year old, so its still a topic that deserves some quiet respect*. A positive trade as I adore my nephew and nieces. Divorce rates have never been as high as 55%, and have been dropping for decades. Sorry that you and Mrs. MMM had to go through this breakup. December 31, 2018, 6:49 pm. As a long-time reader said to me in a recent email as we discussed our shared fate, having a solid financial cushion and low expenses and lifestyle flexibility, has made the best of an otherwise difficult situation especially in not having to disrupt the lives of our kids. My advice for anyone going through this But this is usually a personal finance blog. If this blog post inspires some to put the work into their relationship then thats great because I found that there came a point where it was just too late. I hope it wasn't, but as he said in the article, it's none of our damn business. I look forward to reading your future post regarding continued growth. Happy New Year. But fortunately, like everything else, going to war is almost always achoice. Sometimes people just grow apart over the decades and no matter how much they work at the relationship, find that they want different things from life. Mr. Money Mustache, SWR, and equity allocation - Bogleheads Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. Working from home, traveling by bike and eating at home save $, but its also lonely. Keep em coming! Every time you let this slide, you do a bit of permanent damage. I am sad to hear about your divorce, but glad to hear that yall will keep mushing on as best as yall can. What does my romantic life have to do with your financial life? I liked how she put it best I was happy for 25 years but the 26th year was awful. These are well written sentiments about divorce and the handling the process and the aftermath. Anonymous, income, or you dont have enough money saved (jointly or separately) that you could remain FIRE solo if needed due to divorce, disablilty, lay off or . Thank you! Fill your mind, body and spirit with positivity. Having babies of your own is even harder. Today's News 2nd March 2023 | The One Hundredth Monkey Wow, great post MMM. We can get right back to work on positive things to rebuild our lives.