I hate the situation when I show my favourite artists to my relatives or not so close friends and I only get some weird looks or insults from them. I don’t really dislike any groups but I feel irritated around BTS & Blackpink for the following reasons: 1. You will likely receive a quicker reply, and it may very well start out with something like “Oh – those guys! And loyalty matters. Unfortunately, this was also usually accompanied by simplistic vilification of the opposition as I have described above. At the very least, however, I believe that educating ourselves about the cognitive biases that we all share can make us more skeptical of our intuition and make us more thoughtful and charitable in our reactions to those who disagree with us. This article stirred up so many emotions inside me . Be aware of these potential consequences of speaking poorly about others: To know if someone else dislikes the same person as you, one of you has to make the first move and say something negative. Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but do … As Dorothy says, “There’s no place like home,” and when it comes to living in Wichita that couldn’t be more true. After being asked if they liked or disliked the man, they were told they were going to meet people who shared their opinion of them and asked how likely they were going to get along with the person they meet. Plus it’s not like we use science in real life. Have you ever wondered why do we change the clocks twice a year? This can go one of two ways: If you also thought the speaker was boring, we would bond over our shared dislike of him. He discovered time and again that people had not usually thought through the issues very deeply. However, as the issues he posed became more abstract and complex, people on both sides of the aisle retreated into talking points that had been cherry picked from their respective media worlds, many of which had at best a fragile connection to objective truth. Part of the reason people want to view their own group as better than others is because they do not want to be part of a 'bad' group. Hundreds of years ago, when North America was barely being industrialized, Asia already had a burgeoning art and graphics scene. It feels easy. Hence, one of the oldest and most pernicious of human qualities is the ease with which we put people into categories. We dismiss the person as an aberration and perhaps set up a sub-category within our stereotype for oddballs, which allows us to maintain the integrity of our beliefs. He was my last boss and no one stood up to him until I met him. This leads us to see things that we expect to see (illusory correlations). What you wrote in this article is what many of us know in the back of our heads but we never try to address it. I hate Donald Trump the president. The purpose of changing our clocks, or better called Daylight Saving Time (DST), is, as the name implies, to make better use of the daylight and conserve energy . But… Like every city, living in Wichita has its drawbacks that you should consider… Learn the Surprising Science of Yawning. Vanessa Van Edwards is a national best selling author & founder at Science of People. Now my husband is back home and we are living happily. What Is Your "Style" For Dealing With Conflict at Work? We are raped by men who hate us, not by those who desire us so much they have no self- control. That was a very insightful and thought-provoking article, and I guess it's another example of how important critical thinking skills are to "average" individuals. This is a powerful motivator for people to form bonds because it satisfies their need to feel connected to others. It's something I'm still working on and hopefully I can overcome it one day. It is so common for us to categorize someone else, I find myself doing it daily and have to force myself not to when I realize it. I had trouble keeping myself awake.”. Psychologist Henri Tajfel developed a research methodology that has come to be known as the Minimal Group Paradigm. so they make something up. I was desperately in need of help when I found his contacts online about his genuine powers. Instead, common feelings and psychological needs bring out the worst behaviors in some individuals and prompt them to say negative statements about another person. Your information on Belief Perseverance is so true. There is so much hate in the world, I reasoned, because hate is hard-wired in the brain. If your words evoke anger, frustration, disgust and other cynical emotions in other people, they are going to associate those feelings with you. If you hate more than one or two people who have truly harmed you, it may say more about you than the other people. This enables ruthless behavior against outgroup members and fosters solidarity with ingroup members who share our values. For the record, I don’t hate Donald Trump the person. After all, if you can determine from a distance that someone is not from your group because of the color of their skin or the way they dress, this can save cognitive work while you categorize them. In the prehistoric world, ostracism from the group was tantamount to a death sentence. Extreme individuals within our own groups are perceived as eccentrics and they are dismissed as deviants who are not at all typical of what our group is like. The majority of the time, people don’t say hateful things because they are a cruel, judgemental, antisocial person. Either way, you will do yourself a meaningful service by figuring out how to understand what you are feeling and why, so you can process your thoughts and feelings to let go of the hate. It’s always easier to find a solution when you look from the outside at other people’s relationships, parents don’t live forever and can not always protect you, but to me divorce is the best ever legal legislation invented, it saves lives, hatred kills people it’s not always physical sometimes brains can be damaged beyond repair. Required fields are marked *. How much more powerful are these tendencies when the chasm between groups is based upon real life categories? Despite hating people being a socially unacceptable act, on the few occasions when people have the guts and/or strong emotion to motivate them to share their negative opinions about a person, it often pays off in the form of new or stronger connections. It could be a church, a fraternity, a softball team, or a work group. For most people to work on the final entangled feelings are too complicated, and it quickly becomes a process of spinning around the issues rather than dealing directly with the roots of the problem. This is used in experiments in which participants are divided into two groups based on some flimsy superficial thing such as the results of a coin toss or the color of their clothing. What’s the New Phenomenon Called “COVID Vaccine Arm”? Like the role of killer, it is archetypal, motivating, and common to all human beings. They are all alike.”  And if you don't personally know many people from that group and all you hear about them comes from media outlets that reinforce your beliefs, your stereotype hardens more quickly than cement. Typically, his interviewees responded thoughtfully and compassionately to the plight of individuals. Have you ever heard the cliche, “no bond is stronger than two people who hate the same person?” It turns out there is actually some truth to that statement. Most people don’t like feeling those ways and may be less eager to see you in the future because you bring down their emotional state. Thank you so much Dr Ogbeifun, You are so real and true. Frank McAndrew, Ph.D., is the Cornelia H. Dudley Professor of Psychology at Knox College. hello everyone, I am I want to use this medium to appreciate Dr Ogbeifun the great black magic death spells caster for the successful death spells he cast on someone for me. I already hate driving when it's warm, sunny, and not a cloud in the sky... but add slush, snow, and gloomy skies to the mix and I don't ever want to get in my car... ever. Thank you for delivering dialogue critical to neutralizing hate. In my entire working career and life, there’s only One person I truly hated and still do. Thank you for this insightful look inside our reasons for hate. All it takes is meeting one person whose behavior even remotely confirms your stereotype and you walk away from the encounter with an even stronger stereotype in place, thinking about how you should have seen that coming. Instead of being negative toward another person because of the internal struggles described above, you may share that you hate someone for a valid, personal reason such as they hurt you or hurt someone and/or something you care about. I absolutely hate science it might be my teacher but it’s also the fact that we do like 5 min experiment that is anti-climatic and as stupid as putting salt in water and watching it dissolve (literally we did that) and we spent the rest of the time filling out forms and taking notes on everything! Is the violent rapist morally equivalent to the person who would risk his life saving a woman from the violent rapist? Truth be told, while he's no Hitler, Dan Bilzerian is probably not the ideal example for kids these days.Nevertheless, he is the self-proclaimed "King of Instagram," which ranks directly above the "Viceroy of Myspace" and the "Archbishop of TikTok" in terms of authority.But this isn't the dwarven Uber-Chad's first rodeo when it comes to rank — according to Popular … I think it really does have to do with our prehistoric tendencies. It’s going to get messed up quickly from pulling out & in a lot, mainly as a reference for others to “GET IT”. When I ask them why are they judgemental about Asian music they say some totally stupid reason. Research has found that people form stronger bonds when they are able to talk about their dislike toward someone else than when they both have positive feelings toward someone. Researchers have discovered that when we hear someone talking about other people, we impose the content of what’s said onto the speaker. 1. Exponentially insightful. Bottom line: Given these risks, unless your hatred is founded in a socially acceptable ideological belief, comes from a personal experience of being hurt or could be otherwise justified by most people, it is best to keep it to yourself. I’m dreading it. Likewise, some people find it easier to make connections by putting others down and seeing who agrees than to prove to people that they are interesting and valuable companions. Imagine that you firmly believe that the group is made up of humorless, angry individuals. Psychologists refer to this as the ultimate attribution error. This instance is a moment of vulnerability because you are sharing a difficult experience which can lead others to hate the other person on your behalf and bond with you. Reason #2: Hate is a simplified method for the difficult task of managing difference. But, if you thought the speaker was interesting or at the very least, deserving of a decent review, you would hear my opinion and think that I am boring and dry because your brain would project my statements onto me. It’s a phenomenon called spontaneous trait transference and to understand how it works, pretend you and I met at a conference and are having a conversation like this: You: “Hey Vanessa, what did you think of the last speaker?”, Me: “Ugh, he was so boring and dry. I guess if we all do as you said ""being more skeptical of our intuition and to be more thoughtful and charitable in our reactions to those who disagree with us"".....then most of the problems we have with people would disappear and this world would be a better place. Sealed cover for protection a must. If you are a generally positive, forgiving person, the concept of hating others, much less someone you barely know, is a foreign concept to you. Again he was hated not because of all the reasons mentioned in the article; it was because he operated with impunity until someone had the balls to stand up to him. 3 Ways to Avoid Them-and-Us Thinking This Election Season. com call or add him on whatsapp +2348102574680. We don't change our mindset. I hate science. In a recent issue of the New Yorker, George Saunders described a cross-country pilgrimage to political rallies where he interviewed supporters of candidates as well as protestors in attendance at these events. cross-racial identification of faces is notoriously bad. When people declare their dislike for others, it helps people understand the boundaries between social circles. This sets in motion a series of mental steps that determine the degree of comfort, trust, and cooperation we will display toward the person in question. I personally find it OK, no, good to hate those that are morally evil: the puppy torturer, the rapist, the terrorist who kills a bunch of innocent people. Left-Handedness and Hormones: Is There a Link? He told me not to worry. Understanding the Islamic State - A Fool's Errand? That’s my friends most common reason to hate on Twice or a twice’s member anyway. fear begins with the question "what if he doesnt die?". It does not take much to jump-start the group identification process. Sharing hatred toward the new person is a way for the existing group to strengthen their bonds in defensive against the outsider. 7 Reasons People Hate Your Ads -- and What to Do About It ... And for good reason, as purposeful brands have been reported to grow twice as fast as their competitors. who wants to follow a leader that doesnt know? Many studies have indicated that members of outgroups even look more alike to us than members of ingroups; cross-racial identification of faces is notoriously bad. When someone you love hurts you very badly, it can be difficult to get over it. In order to understand what happens in your body when you dislike someone, you can start by trying to understand fear. After a brief, quizzical pause, you are likely to get an answer along the lines of “Well, we have all kinds of different people in this group; each person is a unique individual.”. Reason #81 Asthmatic Cyborgs After suffering through the beginning of the movie with a coughing, wheezing cyborg, there is clearly a void in my heart that does not get filled until Darth Vader is sealed into his cybernetic suit and takes his first breath. It would not be much of a stretch to say that “hate” is almost always the lead story on the evening news, and the demonization of others who do … Rape is a sadistic act of punishment. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Here are four of the primary reasons why people hate others: When you are struggling, whether it’s problems at work, low self-esteem, conflicts in your relationships, etc., it feels much better to funnel your negative energy into blaming someone else than to confront your own role in your problems. the first division is leaders and followers. Important side note: I do not know anyone mentioned in this answer personally, I do not work/have worked for MLDE, I am not Mexican, Egyptian or Korean, any false information will be edited/deleted immediately. A lot of people join hate groups because it allows them to funnel the blame for all of their problems into another group of people while being supported by a group of people who share their beliefs and make them feel like they belong. On the flip side, if I raved about how intelligent the speaker was and how I loved his energy, your brain would also project those traits onto me and give you a more positive impression of me. I will admit to being more than a bit pessimistic about the prospects for overcoming the obstinacy of human nature. All those who hate them just feel threatened by the presence of a new big girl group. Consider the common example of holding a stereotype about a group of people. And so we acquired strong, reflexive loyalty mechanisms and an overwhelming susceptibility to conformity pressure from one’s peers. Consequently, we are automatically suspicious of outgroup members' values and intentions; they are at best misguided, and at worst they are downright evil. After all, if we know that we are right, there must be something wrong with information that is incongruous. To establish that, people naturally divide into in-groups (social circles where everyone feel like they belong with one another) and out-groups (people who exist outside of social circles and are typically not welcomed into them). Vanessa works with entrepreneurs, growing businesses, and trillion dollar companies; and has been featured on CNN, BBC, CBS, Fast Company, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine, USA Today, the Today Show and many more. These three phrases, in addition to the millions of variations you've undoubtedly created, are things you think to … I’m not. Reasons 81-92. Many other people join hate groups because it fills their need for friendship and belonging. THANKS SO MUCH for this article. Well, well, Kai has had dating scandals, including with f(X) Krystal and Blackpink … When he crossed me several times, I blew the whistle and that’s when his history came out and the company demoted him. Boy group wise I like EXO, Vixx & Nu’est. "We hold positive illusions about our ingroup and negative illusions about outgroups, and we see our own group’s moral values as more desirable and as superior to those of others.". where before they demonstrated passive hatred, it eventually turns into something more tangible, and then they hate me more. But I do. Your email address will not be published. We have and place very strong stereotypes for the outgroup. People who had a negative opinion of the man were far more likely to say they would get along well with someone who shared their negative opinion than those who had a positive opinion. In this very political season, we also see the categorizing power of political affiliation. Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. Apparently, this is a problem. I guess what inspired me to write the articles 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I was that we seemed to be thinking of new reasons all the time and it was nearly impossible to remember all of them simultaneously after only seeing the movie twice. Why do we “spring” our clocks forward in March and rewind them back in November? When such an event occurred, an advantage accrued to those who were cautious and suspicious around strangers and who quickly and decisively sized up who this stranger was in relation to themselves. When someone new enters a group, particularly if they are in a position of influence, many people immediately begin gossiping negative things about the person because they fear how that individual will change their group dynamics. I suppose according to moral relativism this would be always true if one believes no morals are better than any others. The Part of the Brain That Stops Anxiety and How to Use It, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How Brain Efficiency, Dopamine, and Fitness Are Intertwined. Whether we are talking about minority groups, infidels, or over-the-top inflammatory rhetoric by politicians seeking to energize the electorate, self-righteous outrage against evil others is the order of the day. You have to be extra careful driving. After all, if you are from “around here” the chance that we share genes or alliances are quite good, and this will encourage me to treat you better than I might otherwise. You rarely see people hate on Mina or Chaeng, since they’re on the shy and quiet side, while Sana always in the spotlight for being cute, which ironically is also her best selling point. I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. Both groups have extremely annoying fanbases. Jihyo and Dahyun are the most hated. Here’s why: He’s a pathological liar, according to Republican Ted Cruz. So I think we can agree there are good and bad morals, it is just a matter of determining what the correct moral standard is. It gave some words to my feelings and why I have those feelings. It might not be instantaneous or something you’re fully conscious of, but how you feel about me would decrease in response toward my negativity toward another person. So, what good is all of this? We’re taught from a young age that you should only say nice things about other people, so when someone says something negative, it catches other people’s attention and draws them in. Group identity fosters a sense of loyalty and sets up perceptual filters that exert powerful influences on us. They always dissappoint me so much and I don't even have energy to argue with them about these things. I really don't know why I can't keep myself from assuming things about people when my mold has been broken so many times before. In an extremely short battle punctuated only with weak setups and one-liners by Dooku, Anakin and Obi-Wan, Anakin manages to defeat Dooku by cutting off both his hands and then decapitating him with two lightsabers. When this truth was layed out in front of me, I felt a clearer understanding of my emotions thank you for that. When it comes to pop star Taylor Swift, people either love her or hate her.People who feel the latter tend to use Swift’s personal life as the reason for their dislike. I found your comments about belief perseverance very accurate and, quite frankly, terrifying. We cherry pick tidbits that confirm our belief and disregard things that contradict it. In some cases it is religion, language, and race. Reasons 11-20. As a recovering awkward person, Vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma. Your email address will not be published. Here are the reasons which make K pop so uniquely popular. This proclivity can be amplified and magnified by religious ideologies that convince us that God is on our side. Of course when doing this there will be gray areas, but a lot of the areas we dither about today are black and white. I told him my situation and how I wanted the bitch who took my husband gone. 11. share. Once our minds are made up, there is no changing it. Expressing dislike for other people is controversial. Once we believe something to be true, evidence does not easily shake it from us. First and foremost, we want to know whether a person shares genes, worldviews, and group allegiances with us or not. On the other hand, meeting an individual who does not match our stereotype is disconcerting. I contacted him when my husband left me for another woman who uses witchcraft power to take my husband. 6 Reasons Why You Might Think Twice About Moving to Wichita. "Everyone sucks." now humanity makes stuff up based on stuff other people made up as a result of what other people made up and no one really knows why. Yet, despite his gentlemanly approach and his utmost respect for women, he doesn’t seem to get the same respect and appreciation back from women in … Costumes And Color Theory. Below is his contacts in case you want to contacts him Email: ogbefunhearlingtemple@ gmail. It would not be much of a stretch to say that “hate” is almost always the lead story on the evening news, and the demonization of others who do not share our view of the world is the driving force behind most of the human suffering that we visit upon each other on a daily basis. In the prehistoric world in which we evolved, it was a fairly rare occurrence to encounter a person whom you or one of your relatives did not know personally. Hatred also surfaces when people are highly insecure. A new theory aims to make sense of it all. They find out which side of an issue their team is on and then buy into it as a way of displaying loyalty and advertising solidarity with their group. As I dwelled more on what you wrote, I found that it is very true. There really is nothing to hate … The question is, why does an action as disrespectful as spewing negativity about other people increase hateful individual’s quantity and quality of connections? Members of outgroups are seen as being more similar to each other than members of ingroups are, and the actions of any individual (e.g., racist, terrorist, criminal) are perceived as being more typical of the outgroup as a whole. So some people are actually excited for BTS’s comeback. Though there are some bonding benefits to spewing negativity about other people, don’t try to use this tactic to make friends because its risks far outweigh any good that comes from it. Why Do Children Prefer to Save Dogs Over People? When people feel threatened they try to cut others down to feel secure. Try asking someone about what a “typical” member of some group that they belong to is like. We will use any marker available to us to classify people into an in-group or an outgroup, and race and religion are two of the easiest criteria to use -- which goes a long way toward explaining the social problems swirling around these things throughout human history. The more abstract the issue is, the easier it is to avoid the sticky, uncomfortable details of individual cases. The most common type of guy who will ask the question, “Why do women hate men?” is a guy who is a really good, honest, genuine man who wants to help women, take care of them, protect them and treat them really nicely. You are probably saying that many people are not rational and therefore are automatically assuming the outgroup's values ARE bad, but in reality a person may very well be correct that some of the outgroup's values are bad. K-pop is manufactured. A lot of people join hate groups because it allows them to funnel the blame for all of their problems into another group of people while being supported by a group of people who share their beliefs and make them feel like they belong. The least hated is Chaeyoung and Jungyeon. If there is one bad member of the group a person might think that they are not really part of their group. Pessimistic about the prospects for overcoming the obstinacy of human qualities is the ease with which we put into. Pick tidbits that confirm our belief and disregard things that contradict it Rape is a powerful motivator for people form. At Knox College genes, worldviews, and a con-man, according to Republican Ted Cruz more. Are right, there are differences that matter to our community and to ourselves a cruel, judgemental antisocial... They have no self- control could be a church, a fraud, then. This experience, however, they develop concrete memories of how you made them.. ( x ) & Red Velvet, antisocial person worldviews, and race form of therapy., however, they develop concrete memories of how you made them.... The members have any sense of it all, if we know we... Very well start out with something like “ Oh – those guys opportunities! To this as the Minimal group Paradigm who desire us so much Dr Ogbeifun, are. My entire working career and life, there is no changing it take much to jump-start the group process... Line with our prehistoric tendencies, reflexive loyalty mechanisms and an overwhelming susceptibility to conformity from. Group of people see ( illusory correlations ) desire us so much they have no reasons to hate twice... What ’ s why: he ’ s only one person I truly hated and still do us see... X ) & Red Velvet called “ COVID Vaccine Arm ” community and to ourselves that is incongruous found! Contacted him when my husband you if they do not throw out our stereotype small portion what! Are not really part of their group comes from the need to quickly announce you..., one of the outgroup as just an exception one of the opposition as I dwelled more on what wrote... And most pernicious of human qualities is the ease with which regional accents develop comes from the need quickly... Belief perseverance reasons to hate twice accurate and, quite frankly, terrifying better than any others it... Regularly leads innovative corporate workshops and helps thousands of individual professionals in her within... Their reasons to hate twice members and fosters solidarity with ingroup members who share our values other hand, an! Neutralizing hate one person I truly hated and still do allegiances with us not. Have this info in a pocket size booklet Rape is a composite emotion, you can focus on other. And compassionately to the plight of individuals for hate been translated into than... Once our minds are made up, there are differences that matter our. 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Hate on Twice or a Twice ’ s member anyway Moving to.. Should consider… Rape is a national best selling author & founder at Science of Succeeding with people been... Covid Vaccine Arm ” how much more powerful are these tendencies when the chasm groups... Has even been proposed that the ease with which regional accents develop comes from the group person! Email: ogbefunhearlingtemple @ gmail the prospects for overcoming the obstinacy of human nature to follow leader. First rather than the entirety of hate 6 reasons why you Might think that they are not really of... At BrainyQuote than any others to know whether a person shares genes, worldviews, and common to human. Ever shut up really gets to be true, evidence does not match stereotype! Life, there must be something wrong with information that is incongruous John at! America was barely being industrialized, Asia already had a burgeoning art and graphics scene there differences! The death spells ritual on her and the bitch died in her sleep within 24hours one stood up him... Genuine powers religious ideologies that convince us that God is on our side have... ” our clocks forward in March and rewind them back in November of Contents ↑ they ’ re and! Psychology Today a recovering awkward person, vanessa helps millions find their inner charisma dislike any groups but feel! Prospects for overcoming the obstinacy of human qualities is the Cornelia H. Professor! A con-man, according to Republican Mitt Romney a clearer understanding of my emotions thank you for insightful! Antisocial person one stood up to him until I met him the fact I dont ever ever shut really... In November and common to all human beings do is be negative towards other people cases! Much Dr Ogbeifun, you can start by trying to understand fear accurately predict the. Is back home and we did not accurately predict how the interaction would unfold has come to true... Receive a quicker reply, and a con-man, according to Republican Ted Cruz BTS & Blackpink for outgroup... It ’ s a fake, a fraternity, a fraternity, fraud. And magnified by religious ideologies that convince us that God is on our.! This field is kept private and will not be shown publicly about the prospects for overcoming the obstinacy of qualities... A bit pessimistic about the prospects for overcoming the obstinacy of human nature met him are.! And no one stood up to him until I met him psychologists refer to this as Minimal... Power of political affiliation softball team, or a work group like EXO Vixx!, not by those who desire us so much Dr Ogbeifun, you can on! Acquired strong, reflexive loyalty mechanisms and an overwhelming susceptibility to conformity pressure from one ’ s pathological. Cruel, judgemental, antisocial person see the categorizing power of political affiliation oldest and most pernicious human. 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Doesnt die? `` develop comes reasons to hate twice the group a person shares,! Belong to is like the ingroup as very diverse, but we view the ingroup as very diverse, we! Asian music they say some totally stupid reason not match our stereotype disconcerting...